But five minutes later she came back and said they were out of that. So I ordered the next thing down on the menu: Snails and Stuff.
They served me a pile of gastropods. I wasn't sure what to do, until they brought me a cup full of toothpicks. Apparently you stab the snail in the head and drag it out.
Point is, it looked like this:
Mostly I studied.
Jay Goodman Tamboli says: At least I don't talk to myself.
Scott D. Scheule says: I've talked to you before, and I don't blame you.
Jay Goodman Tamboli says: I don't know that I'm going to ever be able to look at Miriam again without picturing her dressed as a dinosaur.
Scott D. Scheule says: What do you see when you look at me?
Jay Goodman Tamboli says: 185 pounds of man.
Scott D. Scheule says: I should have told people that was my Halloween costume.
Also, and this is the second time in as many days, Jay and I went to CVS, where he tried to buy Sudafed. The clerk brought down the book where federal law requires you to sign your name and address upon purchase of this particular decongestant.
Jay: Forget it. I'm not signing that. I'm not signing that! There is no reason you need that information. Look, I'm not a drug dealer--I just have a cold.
Later, I said, "Don't worry, Jay. I happen to know how to make Sudafed out of crystal meth."