Yesterday morning I drove to Goodwill and took five pairs of cutoffs into the dressing room with me. I found a pair that fit, then bought the pair two sizes smaller.
The costume, was of course, Tobias Funke from the short-lived, brilliant show Arrested Development, a character played by David Cross, who suffers from a rare psychological affliction: the inability to be completely naked. As such, he wears a pair of cutoffs under his every outfit.
What was more fun? Was it riding the Metro to Jer's party and being accosted by young ruffians?
Scott: Why didn't you stand up for me, Jay?
Was it the first unveiling, entering the party dressed in three inches of denim?
Scott: My testicles are currently next to my pancreas.
Or watching peoples' eyes inevitably drawn to my milky white thighs and berry brown nipples? And afterwards taking the metro home alone, with freezing rain pouring down and it being cold as all hell? Who knows?
The point is, it looked like this: