Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Dirty and Stupid Jokes With Family

Scene: Mom and Grandmother's hotel room, Mom and I just getting back and finding the door locked, everyone drinking Yuengling or vodka.

GRANDMOTHER: (laughing) I saw a hotline for you know on the television.

MOM: Hmm?

GRANDMOTHER: You call them up, and they, you know, 'comfort you.'

SCOTT: Is that why the door was locked?

GRANDMOTHER: Ha, that's right, I called and he came.

SCOTT:
I bet he did.

MOM: Scott! Stop!

__________________________

SCOTT:
Think of a number.

RICHARD: Ok.

SCOTT:
Seven!

RICHARD: No, twenty-three.

SCOTT: Shit, I was supposed to say, "Between one and ten." I got to work on this.

__________________________

GRANDMOTHER:
There your mother goes, making another U-turn.

SCOTT: King Yewie the 16th, they should call her!

RICHARD: That's pretty good.

SCOTT: Yeah, I thought it up a while ago.

__________________________

DAD: You know how many women were in my dental school class?

SCOTT: Uh... none? Because they weren't allowed to be dentists?

DAD:
No, there were three. And one ended up flunking out.

SCOTT:
Men are just better at filling cavities.

[90 seconds pass]


MOM:
I just got it.

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