Monday, August 13, 2007

Bone Soup

DAVID: I just bought this book. It's got all this stuff about how to purify water and skin animals.

SCOTT: So you're ready for the apocalypse.

DAVID: Big time. Cause when it hits, everybody's going to be in the woods. And I'll know what to do.

SCOTT: That's right. That's a human being's first instinct: world ends, head for the forest.

DAVID: Damn right!

SCOTT: Only you'll already be there. "Where are all the squirrels to eat?" they'll say. "Who has eaten all the squirrels!"

DAVID: Yes! But then, when they're looking for the squirrels, I'll be back in their houses.

SCOTT: Right.

DAVID: Because the first instinct in case of apocalypse is to head for the woods, not to head for home.

SCOTT:
So they'll be in the woods, and you'll be helping yourself to their canned soup in their pantries.

DAVID:
Totally.

SCOTT: Soup is better than squirrels in my opinion. There are no bones to pick out.

DAVID:
Yep.

SCOTT: Except for Campbell's Bone Soup. But the bones are kind of the point when it comes to that one.

DAVID:
They've had trouble selling that one.

SCOTT:
I know. The commercials are ridiculous. "Bone Soup! It's Mmm, Mmm... *hack* *hack*..."

DAVID: *hack* *gag*...

SCOTT: *gag!!*...

DAVID: *hack! hack!*...

SCOTT:
*hack... gulp* ... Good.

DAVID: Crazy.

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