Monday, August 13, 2007

Bone Soup

DAVID: I just bought this book. It's got all this stuff about how to purify water and skin animals.

SCOTT: So you're ready for the apocalypse.

DAVID: Big time. Cause when it hits, everybody's going to be in the woods. And I'll know what to do.

SCOTT: That's right. That's a human being's first instinct: world ends, head for the forest.

DAVID: Damn right!

SCOTT: Only you'll already be there. "Where are all the squirrels to eat?" they'll say. "Who has eaten all the squirrels!"

DAVID: Yes! But then, when they're looking for the squirrels, I'll be back in their houses.

SCOTT: Right.

DAVID: Because the first instinct in case of apocalypse is to head for the woods, not to head for home.

So they'll be in the woods, and you'll be helping yourself to their canned soup in their pantries.


SCOTT: Soup is better than squirrels in my opinion. There are no bones to pick out.


SCOTT: Except for Campbell's Bone Soup. But the bones are kind of the point when it comes to that one.

They've had trouble selling that one.

I know. The commercials are ridiculous. "Bone Soup! It's Mmm, Mmm... *hack* *hack*..."

DAVID: *hack* *gag*...

SCOTT: *gag!!*...

DAVID: *hack! hack!*...

*hack... gulp* ... Good.

DAVID: Crazy.

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