Tuesday, January 08, 2008


I tend to put off changing the head on my razor until long after that blue stripe has faded away. This gives my face a nice bloody, manly appearance, which I use to trick women into overestimating my level of testosterone. "Look at that guy! He obviously just got into a fist fight with jaguar. And won! I'm going to give him my number." But of course there are no jaguars in DC. DC interns don't know that, because DC interns aren't hired for their brains, and that's fine, because that's not what I'm after.

Point being, I'm always shocked at how smooth a fresh blade feels. After switching it up, I giddily scraped off my ski-beard--which no longer serves any purpose with the recent boost in temperature--like I was sculpting warm butter. Which I did once.

Later I accidentally sliced off my chin. The wound didn't hurt as much as the aftershave applied.


Variable said...

You should try the Spishak MACH-20

Brandon Berg said...

Real men use straight razors.

When our belt sanders are in the shop.