SCOTT: So I usually spend two months between my haircuts, though I know I'm supposed to go once a month. But I finally found a reason to go monthly.
DAVID: What's that?
SCOTT: Incredibly hot hairdresser.
SCOTT: In fact, I've spent all day today trying to get my hair to grow so I can go back again soon.
DAVID: Makes sense.
SCOTT: Maybe I'll smear some Rogaine on my head. Ah! Or glue on a blue fright wig. 'Yeah, I don't know what happened, I just woke up and my hair had grown six inches and turned blue.' 'Huh--that seems to happen to you every week.' 'Well, you see, Vanessa, I live close to power lines, so...'
DAVID: I don't see how that could not work.
DAVID: One time I found this dead crow on the driveway, and I brought it to school. Then I just kept it in my locker for a while and waited until lunch--during lunch I slipped it into Billy's backpack, and positioned it so the head was hanging out.
SCOTT: That's ingenious.
DAVID: Yeah. He was walking out of class later and a girl behind him saw the head hanging out and started screaming.
SCOTT: I love that you saw a piece of roadkill and thought, 'What can I do with this?' For David Scheule, every corpse has a silver lining.