Sunday, July 03, 2011

How's that Movie Coming Anyway?

MOM: Scott, can you do me a favor?

SCOTT: Only if you call it a "solid."

MOM: Can you do me a solid?



MOM: Can you do me another favor?

SCOTT: What did I tell you to say?

MOM: Can you do me a sordid?

SCOTT: That's not what I taught you. And now I'm kind of scared.


DAD: So what'd you do today?

SCOTT: Same old, you know. Richard and I spent a couple of hours watching various animals giving birth.

DAD: Like?

SCOTT: Like elephants. We watched this mother elephant plop one out. Not like a horse, you know, when you've got three or so people with Larry-the-Cable-Guy accents yanking on the thing, but no, it comes out at the bottom, like the eggs from the ovipositor in Aliens 2, and no sooner is this thing on the floor then a wave, and I mean a wave, of afterbirth comes out. I mean it comes and comes. It is like the finale of Carrie. Then the baby's not breathing, so the mother starts freaking out, and she begins to wail on it. Not like with little playful kicks or anything. She beats the living crap out of this thing, until finally it starts breathing. It's a beautiful thing.


Watching Independence Day.

SCOTT: Richard, see the little girl playing the President's daughter?


SCOTT: She was Ann on Arrested Development.


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