BLIND DATE: So do you not shave on the weekend?
ME: Honestly, I would have, but I didn't expect you to be this pretty.
DATE: So I was watching this movie, about the history of the, um…
DATE: The dildo. This doctor invented it actually.
ME: I think I know this story. You know how Isaac Newton was under the apple tree and it fell on his head and he got the idea for gravity? Well, this guy was under a banana tree.