Saturday, March 24, 2007

Deilogues

Sasha asked me to derive the formula for the area of trapezoid today.

And I did!

What!

Also, Jenna Fischer gets objectivized on WIRED. I don't approve, but uh, the Office rocks. And God's up in Heaven right now, totally chilling with a cigarette, saying, "You know what? That's all me. I made that."

[02:05] Remy Boncouer: Yeah man, you're more coy than a goldfish.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Scott Scheule
to Nicholas

9:37 am (9 hours ago)


I've of course been jealous of you and your oncoming marital bliss, but today it occurred to me that this was silly. After all, after you get hitched, you'll be having so much sex you won't have any time to listen to video game remixes. Sucker!

Email to Nick

Scott Scheule
to Nicholas

9:37 am (9 hours ago)


I've of course been jealous of you and your oncoming marital bliss, but today it occurred to me that this was silly. After all, after you get hitched, you'll be having so much sex you won't have any time to listen to video game remixes. Sucker!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Lectern

I know what you're thinking. After being up for 30 hours or so without sleep, I tend to get touchy-feely, smiling at everybody, hugging, tousling hair, giggling. You're thinking that the true Scott comes out at these moments, and in reality I'm just some lanky hippie with a heart full of tenderness and flowers.

But, if that's the case, how to explain the pleasure I still get from reading cases circa the McCarthy era, and the unabashed glee I get from watching Hollywood Communists being pushed out of work and thrown out of federal court, again and again?

____________________

ENTERTAINMENT LAW PROFESSOR: I need my lectern.

SCOTT: Eventually, you'll realize that the real lectern is within you, and always has been. You don't need the lectern--the magic's inside!

PROFESSOR: Ha, maybe. But I still need somewhere to put my books.

_____________________

I keep getting "props" for this email I sent to the student listserve on the subject of our graduation speech. So, for posterity, here it is in full:

How about everybody does the speech, but each person says one word (except Mark, who's said enough). That way, nobody's left out (except Mark). Also, the speech should be a verbatim reading of the transcript of season 4 episode 2 of Growing Pains, the one where Kirk Cameron killed the guy for money, and felt guilty afterwards.

A True Blue Dream of Sky

THE DEAN: [sneaking up behind me, looking over my shoulder and pointing at my computer screen] Can you hear the sheet music just reading it like that?

SCOTT: Eh, kind of. Not really. But hell, at least it's better than reading law, right?

[Dean laughs and walks off]

SCOTT: [to Jay] I met him during first year orientation and I made a stupid joke then as well. This adds a nice bookend to my time here.

______________________

TODD: There are holes in the patio!

SCOTT: This is what happens when you let the pro-choice group advertise next to the chapel! We're being drawn slowly into Hell!

______________________

Todd:
Besides, all I'm doing now is watching YouTube videos and wondering how much I can splurge on brownies.

Scott:

The EJF brownies? Professor Barnett bought one last night and wouldn't stop complaining about it throughout class.
I think he just doesn't like the taste of charity.

[Todd: it's not charity if you get a dollar's worth of brownie out of it]

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Email from Music History Professor

>>
>> Schoenberg is NOT my cup of tea -
>> he just always seems to come to mind
>> when I hear from you. I sense some
>> mysterious connection between the
>> two of you.
>
>
> Hmm. Fear of the number 13?
>
> Chronic propensity for overestimation of
> self-importance?

That's funny!! I glad to know you are still a funny fellow.

(And I just remembered the nursery song:
"What can you do, Pulchinello, funny fellow?")

Louie

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Quicksand

SCOTT: I got to sleep at 4:30. I quit Nytol, and my body doesn't remember how to sleep without it.

JAY: Any reason?

SCOTT: I feel very stupid lately, and I'm looking for things that might be causing it.

JAY: You're old.

SCOTT: I'm 25 [editor's note: I'm 24. Q.E.D.]. This should be my prime.

JAY: Sixteen's your prime. It's downhill from there.

SCOTT: Maybe it's just hanging out with you. That's not to say you're an intellectual titan or something, and I constantly feel insignificant around you. Rather, I constantly feel you dragging me down to your level, like intellectual quicksand.

JAY: See you tomorrow.

SCOTT: What did I do with my keys?

Monday, March 19, 2007

Prick

I note someone has reached my blog on a search for the terms "dawkins" AND "prick." Somehow, I feel like I've accomplished something. Stick to evolutionary biology, Rich. I obviously have a lot of pull when it comes to the market for your books, the good ones and your latest.

I've read Lawrence v. Texas for half a dozen classes. This last perusal of Kennedy's inane due process soufflé for Con Law verged on painful.

I've decided to eat healthier, so I bought a bunch of fruit. My bananas are currently turning yellow--I feel like a farmer!

Lately, I've been going for walks in the evening. Not sure why, but I enjoy the air.


BARNETT:
And what's significant about Scalia's dissent?

SCOTT: He openly admits that there are unenumerated rights.

BARNETT: And that and a dollar will you get what exactly?

SCOTT: ...

BARNETT:
... Well?

SCOTT: I can't think of a quip.

I found this picture of my brother and his girlfriend. What more could you want out of a day?

Street Warfare

[10:55:30 AM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Can you construct a reason for being in her area of town with some time to kill?

[10:57:33 AM] Scott says:
That's an idea.

[10:57:56 AM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Something that makes you sound tough. A motorcycle gang has challenged you to a fight.

[10:58:15 AM] Scott says: And hey, if I survive, how about a cup of coffee?

[10:58:30 AM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says:
Or you could go beforehand, and she can be impressed at how calm you are.

[11:00:28 AM] Scott says: I could sharpen my knives while we spoke.

Bread

I wonder if the reason I was depressed through high school was all that soft rock I listened to. Nowadays, I seldom listen to anything but classical. But tonight on a whim, I put on my easy music list; I'm about ready to jump off a building because of it. But, wow, in 12th grade. This is all I listened to--all the time.

But if I had to do it again, I wouldn't change a thing. David Gates rocks!

I pulled my side carrying groceries. I have to carry groceries now because I don't have a car to transport them. I hope I don't become one of those people who are always whining about their backs.

Man, I'm sore. Grumble.