Thursday, January 10, 2008

Works Cited

Far from being a breathtaking development, postmodernism is rather like the tinea vulgaris of legal academe. Years ago, athlete's foot was the scourge of involuntary but unselfish institutions: the military, the penitentiary. Now, one catches it by spending time in gyms, one variety of the many contemporary palaces of self-indulgence. It is not life threatening, nor even likely to affect the host's performance in crucial functions such as aerobics or weight training for the self-absorbed, education or legal decision-making for academics. It remains an annoying itch, isolated to the extremities, occasionally discomforting, not seriously harmful, but not likely to go away either.


Tuesday, January 08, 2008


I tend to put off changing the head on my razor until long after that blue stripe has faded away. This gives my face a nice bloody, manly appearance, which I use to trick women into overestimating my level of testosterone. "Look at that guy! He obviously just got into a fist fight with jaguar. And won! I'm going to give him my number." But of course there are no jaguars in DC. DC interns don't know that, because DC interns aren't hired for their brains, and that's fine, because that's not what I'm after.

Point being, I'm always shocked at how smooth a fresh blade feels. After switching it up, I giddily scraped off my ski-beard--which no longer serves any purpose with the recent boost in temperature--like I was sculpting warm butter. Which I did once.

Later I accidentally sliced off my chin. The wound didn't hurt as much as the aftershave applied.

Monday, January 07, 2008

The Edge of Knowledge

Dubizzle showed me this, a list of public intellectuals answering the question: "What have you changed your mind about?"

It's all fascinating, and after I read through it, I vomited and soon plan to drink. Goddamn you people--agree on something, damn you. One guy says something about science having all the answers, another about them not being there. We got pro and anti-ev psychers. The world's a myth--no, it's not! Consciousness is easy, hard, or easy because it's hard. And it is hard, hard to fight the notion that we're all floating in a big vat of unknowability. Eventually you'll end up skimming because you know what this dude says is going to be completely contradicted by a chick two pages over.

However, NB: unanimous agreement on global warming. Buy stock in galoshes.

My contribution: I changed my mind about Mahler. That First Symphony is rad.

Works Cited

The existence of a God meme is no better established than the existence of God.

H. Allen Orr, The God Project: What the Science of Religion Can't Prove, The New Yorker