Friday, January 15, 2010

Last Day Skiing

SCOTT: You should switch to Marlboros, Rich. Everyone knows Camels are for blue-collar workers.

RICHARD: I am a blue-collar worker.

SCOTT: Right, but... You got to smoke for the job you want.

...

MOM: It's so nice! All the trails are so well-groomed.

SCOTT: You could learn something from these trails, David.

...

JOKES FOR WIPEOUTS

SCOTT: Hey, David! You want some summer, spring and winter with your fall?

...

SCOTT: Hey, David! You want some colorful foliage with your fall?

...

SCOTT: Hey, David! You want some 'of the Roman Empire' with your fall?

DAVID: That was your best one yet!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

a DAY in Montre-AL

SCOTT: Cé-LINE... I was think--ING... that be-CAUSE... you SAY... your English is rust-Y... well.. obvious-LY, I can-NOT speak in FRENCH but I CAN, howev-ER, speak En-GLISH, in this aw-FUL French ac-CENT, if that would be easi-ER for YOU.

CÉLINE:
Non.

SCOTT: Non?

CÉLINE: Non.

SCOTT: Non.

CÉLINE:
Bon.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Denny's

SCOTT: And she's buy...ing... a stairway... to Denny's...

DAVID: What was that last word?

SCOTT:
Denny's. The original song was about Denny's. Robert Plant loved Denny's.

DAVID/JIMMY: "Robert... we love this new song... but..."

SCOTT/ROBERT: "But what?"

DAVID/JIMMY:
"But... what's with the Denny's?"

SCOTT/ROBERT: "What do you mean what's with the Denny's? Denny's is awesome! The deals are amazing!"

DAVID/JIMMY:
"Robert, it's..."

SCOTT/ROBERT: "Grand slam!"

DAVID/JIMMY:
"Hmm. Maybe we could put in another word there. Let's just try a few out. She's buying a stairway to church, maybe."

SCOTT/ROBERT:
"No. No! Up yours!"

DAVID:
I think that's enough.

SCOTT: Yeah, let's go skiing.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

And More



SCOTT: David, I've decided that until you cut your goddamn hair, I'm going to call you girls' names. Is that all right with you?

DAVID:
All right.

SCOTT: These are also going to be the names of ex-girlfriends of mine--is that going to be weird for you?

DAVID:
It might be.

SCOTT:
Too bad.


At Mt. Cannon today, we learned that there was an unmarked trail down a nearby mountain. I didn't want to do this, but Richard did, and if he was going to do it, then of course I had to. So to get to this trail, as it turns out, we had to pop off the skis and hike for fifteen minutes along a mountain ridge. Then we found the trail, which was pleasant, but it deposited us about a mile from the base camp. So long story short, I ended up walking down the side of the road with my skis on my shoulder.

But, it was all worth it, because later, I found a lemming.

MOM:
I can't believe you picked it up.

SCOTT: You obviously don't understand how cute this creature was. It popped out of a Disney movie. It climbed up David's shoulder and started to preen itself.


Works Cited

Not good. The parameters breed like mosquitoes in the bayou, faster than he can knock them off. Hunger, compromise, money, paranoia, memory, comfort, guilt. Guilt gets a minus sign around Achtfaden though, even if it is becoming quite a commodity in the Zone. Remittance men from all over the world will come to Heidelberg before long, to major in guilt. There will be bars and nightclubs catering especially to guilt enthusiasts. Extermination camps will be turned into tourist attractions, foreigners with cameras will come piling through in droves, tickled and shivering with guilt.


Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow

TV with Dinner

MOM: And thank you, Lord, for this meal that we're about to eat, and this beautiful day. Amen.

SCOTT: Can I add something?

MOM: Of course.

SCOTT:
And thank you, dear Lord, for this episode of House that we are about to receive. Thank you for Hugh Laurie's delightful comedic timing, and for the continued strong writing through the latest season. Amen.

MOM: Amen.