Friday, January 28, 2011

Works Cited

Our team of linguist-translator-statisticians assures us (with 99.99897% certainty), that the Future English Bible represents the dominant dialect of world English of the 22nd century.


King James Version of 1611 Future English Bible

10 And it came to pass, as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples.


10 Latron, Jesus was sittin ta eat n’t’house, wen lookit! holelotta blingblingers n other huài guys came n hobnobbed with’m n his posse.

11 And when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners?


11 Wen t’faruppities saw all round this, they asked his posse: Aya! Wy your main man eat with blingblingers n huài guys?

12 But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.


12 Wen Jesus heard all that, he told’m: t’users that got no virisses on t’seepeeyou donno need ta call t’cusstomber service lines, but those pobrecitos with fragged hard drives need it sumtimes.

13 But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.


13 You faruppities drive off now and figgerout wat that is bout. I want merced and not malitos. Cause I didn’ come here ta organize t’goodytwoshoeses. I come here ta tell t’blingblingers ta makenice.



The Future English Bible, The Speculative Grammarian

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Open Borders Haiku

Bryan Caplan's, not mine:

Markets chomp at bit
To end global poverty
But statists say no.
A commenter replies:

It is champ not chomp
Please forgive my pedantry
I cannot help it.