Friday, November 02, 2007

Correspondence with our Man in Cairo

[1:08:01 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: I wonder where we're going for dinner. I think the conference is paying for all of our meals, which is really cool.

[1:08:09 PM] Scott says: Dude, sweet.

[1:08:14 PM] Scott says: Order the lobster.

[1:08:17 PM] Scott says: The Arabian lobster.

[1:08:22 PM] Scott says: Which is goat.

[1:10:44 PM] Scott says: I found a missing sock! It was in the sleeve of a shirt that's been hanging in the closet for the last month.

[1:11:24 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Woohoo!

[1:11:30 PM] Scott says: That's pretty much all that's happened since you've left.

Also exciting, today I wore a shirt missing a button. After a coworker noticed my visible navel, I cleverly remedied the situation by use of a paperclip. Very MacGyver, except I used a handgun while doing this.

Speaking of handguns:

So anyway, [the first interpretation of the Second Amendment is] right... and the Supreme Court knows it, but they haven't taken the opportunity to say so because for the past fifty years the Court's been quite hesitant to protect Constitutional rights when those Constitutional rights aren't completely imaginary. On the other hand, expect a case protecting the right of juvenile transvestites to be free of excessive punitive damages later this term.

UPDATE: Jay Goodman Tamboli has passed the Maryland Bar, the only legal bar exam that requires proper dissection and labelling of an authentic Chesapeake blue-shelled crab.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

This Puts Me in League with Adrian Brody and Isabelle Huppert!

Hanah: plus, everyone there is good looking, so your chances are lower (no offense) because of the competition

me: Wow. Ouch.

no, really. That's what I tell my sister

You're reasonably hot in a normal place.

I can be quite good looking with the proper hat.

But in L.A., the curve is much higher.

concentration of movie stars

and anorexic people

it's kind of gross, actually

me: "Reasonably hot in a normal place" is going on my resume.

One of Those Days

It's going to be one of those days, one of those days when you race into the bathroom, jump in front of the nearest urinal, fish around for five minutes without any luck before finally admitting to yourself that yes, you've once again put your underwear on backwards.

Turkey! Just in Time for Thanksgiving!

Jay's going to Turkey for a week or so to hold a camera in front of some talkshow host and also not get kidnapped and held hostage. Like most events in life, this calls for Scotch, so I bought some last night and we drank it. Of course, I clucked concernedly, weaving in caring questions such as, "Have you updated your will since you've met me?" between more crass comments indicating my complete ignorance of all places non-American. "How big is the camel you'll be riding?" Then it was off to Best Buy, to get some adaptors for Turkish outlets. Now, there is no such thing as an American-Turkish adaptor, but there are Franco-Turkish adaptors, and Spanish-Franco adaptors, and you can find an American-Spanish adaptor anywhere, so really you can build your own Turko-American adaptor with a little duct tape and imagination. Pretty pointless though, since I'm pretty sure they don't have electricity over there.

SCOTT: Jay you remember a while ago, we were discussing the doctrine of modal realism? I told you that Lewis was troubled by the idea that one of the basic axioms of his stance was that possible worlds have no interaction with one another, but nonetheless, we can easily imagine a world that can interact with other worlds. Now your response was quite simply that he should define "possible worlds" as only those worlds which can't interact with each other, otherwise he runs into all these Goedelian problems. I've been thinking about that, and my response is this: yes, we can define "possible" that way, but why should we? A world that interacts with other worlds is clearly possible, so just redefining "possible" strikes me as a dictionary dodge. I have nothing new to add to the discussion beyond that, but I've been wanting to say that for a while and the topic hasn't been coming up in conversation. So I just jumped in.


JAY: IP Law.

SCOTT: Yeah, well I bleed justice. Now if we could just find someone who craps the American Way, we'll be set.


SCOTT: If you die, I'm going to argue that we were common law married and try and get your will invalidated. Dozens of people will testify that we spend a suspicious amount of time together.

JAY: I'm tempted to fake my own death just so I can watch that.


[1:06:30 PM] Scott says: Exxon down.

[5:48:10 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Oh, no!

[5:51:38 PM] Scott says: At least they were at 1 PM when I called.

[5:52:23 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says:

[5:53:45 PM] Scott says: I'm ruined!

[5:53:57 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: You should diversify.

[5:54:13 PM] Scott says: I don't want to have to keep track of TWO stocks!

[5:54:51 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Makin' money ain't easy.

[5:55:07 PM] Scott says: Unless you're in the federal reserve.

[5:55:45 PM] Scott says: Damn it! I should have said something about your mom being on a corner.

[5:56:12 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: L'espirit d'escalier burn!

[5:56:35 PM] Scott says: Le high-cinq!

[5:56:42 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: lol

[5:56:52 PM] Scott says: When did we get so classy?

Monday, October 29, 2007


me: Whatchu doing in Boston?

Hanah: Libertarian cconference

me: Ah, the Cabal. How's the movement coming?

Hanah: Great. Lots of smart grad atudents, esp. the women

me: Things sure have changed. In my day, it was all a bunch of undersexed men working for their GEDs.

Hanah: 5 women out of 15 attendees, but they were way more interesting than the men. 3 unmarried

me: Most women are more interesting than men. Most of that is due to the breasts.

Hanah: True

me: How do they work? What are they for? These questions keep me up nights.

Hanah: Feeding babies


me: Jay has a beard. He's trying to look Turkish for his upcoming trip/

Hanah: Beards are bizarre. How do they work? What are they for?

me: Also feeding babies.

Hanah: Intriguing

me: Mine secretes mashed peas.

Hanah: Runaway rocking chair!

me: That shouldn't be possible!

Hanah: It was dragging a woman behind it

me: My God! Has the already fragile alliance b/w man and rocking chair come to an end??

Hanah: She seems to have gotten the better of it now.

me: There's a lawyer position in LA. If I worked there, it would be just like that TV show!

Hanah: Definitely

me: Seinfeld. But with lawyers.

Hanah: Seinfeld is in ny

me: Right, like an LA Seinfeld with lawyers.

The News


GIRL on cell phone: What? Where are you? Oh, one second. (Holds up cell phone)) Listen! My friend's at a Sting concert. Here, you can actually hear him performing.

SCOTT: Wow. Sting over the phone is better than Huey Lewis in person.

ANOTHER GIRL: You're terrible. (Punches me in the arm and gets off the Metro.)

FIRST GIRL: Did you know that girl?


FIRST GIRL: She hit you really hard.

SCOTT: I guess she's a Huey Lewis fan.