Thursday, May 24, 2007

Graduation



I love this picture of Phocas and me. Surely, an emotional moment, but not quite the level of excitement my closed eyes imply.

I look like Dr. Cox. Also note how lovely Phocas's neck looks--that took a lot of work.

Poetry Slam

I went to an open mic night, and read a poem, which of course is the cliche treatment for anyone with aversion to speaking in public. But what the hell. Heart thumped and everything, but I remembered every word, kept my posture straight--probably could have smiled more, but got compliments and applause afterwards.

I was the only white person there. Twenty black women testified in crisp rhythm about the power of Jesus with their personal creations, punctuated by audience Amens. Also, a dwarf.

My selection, however, was Victorian-era sprung rhythm.

Praise Him!

Works Cited

One day, Churchill entered a men's room in the House of Commons and noticed Attlee at a urinal. Without saying anything, Churchill chose a urinal at the opposite side of the room. When Attlee took notice of Churchill, he said, "Feeling a bit standoffish today, Winston?" Churchill, who may have been waiting for this moment for years, replied: "That's right, Clement. Every time you see something big, you want to nationalize it."

Marcus Grothe, Viva la Repartee

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Ebenezers Blogging

[2:47:00 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: As we sit here longer, the chances approach one [that New York, New York will be played on the radio].


[2:52:31 PM] Scott says:
...the chances could approach 0, if the music seems to constantly move in the general direction of non-New York, New York. For instance, if first that legendary glam rock anthem came on, "Memphis, Memphis", and that was followed by the 90's rap (using a sample of Neil Young's Cinammon Girl) "Cincinatti, Bitch, this is Cincinatti" then followed by Ladysmith Black Mambazo doing their earthy rendition of "Calgary, Calgary, Hummmmmmm. Uh, Calgary" the direction of the music would seem to be steadily approaching, like most things worthwhile, Juneau.

[2:52:52 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says:
No.

[2:52:59 PM] Scott says:
Ju-No.

[2:53:07 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Music takes less time to play than to write, so we'd eventually run out of songs.

[2:53:30 PM] Scott says: What if a Supertramp album got stuck in the deck?

Works Cited

By some miraculous insight Plato seems to have foreseen, on the basis of what must have been very sparse evidence indeed at that time that: on the one hand, mathematics must be studied and understood for its own sake, and one must not demand completely accurate applicability to the objects of physical experience; on the other hand, the workings of the actual external world can ultimately be understood only in the terms of precise mathematics--which means in terms of Plato's ideal world 'accessible via the intellect'!

___________________________

It is a striking fact that all the established departures from the Newtonian picture have been, in some fundamental way, associated with the behaviour of light... It is reasonable to speculate that Newton himself would have been ready to accept that deep problems for his picture of the world lay hidden in the mysterious behaviour of light.

Roger Penrose, The Emperor's New Mind

Dirty and Stupid Jokes With Family

Scene: Mom and Grandmother's hotel room, Mom and I just getting back and finding the door locked, everyone drinking Yuengling or vodka.

GRANDMOTHER: (laughing) I saw a hotline for you know on the television.

MOM: Hmm?

GRANDMOTHER: You call them up, and they, you know, 'comfort you.'

SCOTT: Is that why the door was locked?

GRANDMOTHER: Ha, that's right, I called and he came.

SCOTT:
I bet he did.

MOM: Scott! Stop!

__________________________

SCOTT:
Think of a number.

RICHARD: Ok.

SCOTT:
Seven!

RICHARD: No, twenty-three.

SCOTT: Shit, I was supposed to say, "Between one and ten." I got to work on this.

__________________________

GRANDMOTHER:
There your mother goes, making another U-turn.

SCOTT: King Yewie the 16th, they should call her!

RICHARD: That's pretty good.

SCOTT: Yeah, I thought it up a while ago.

__________________________

DAD: You know how many women were in my dental school class?

SCOTT: Uh... none? Because they weren't allowed to be dentists?

DAD:
No, there were three. And one ended up flunking out.

SCOTT:
Men are just better at filling cavities.

[90 seconds pass]


MOM:
I just got it.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Works Cited

["]But, Warren, please remember how it is:
He’s come to help you ditch the meadow.
He has a plan. You mustn’t laugh at him.
He may not speak of it, and then he may.
I’ll sit and see if that small sailing cloud
Will hit or miss the moon."

It hit the moon.
Then there were three there, making a dim row,
The moon, the little silver cloud, and she.

Robert Frost, The Death of the Hired Man