Friday, November 09, 2007

Watercooler Talk

Jelena: Another thing about Don Giovanni: the ending is really silly.

Scott: Silly? What's silly about it?

Jelena: Come on, a walking statue!

Scott: Look, back then they didn't know that statues couldn't walk. You have to judge these things by the standards of the day.

...

Jelena: I know our cubicles are supposed to look quite professional, what with the overhead compartment opening upwards.

Scott:
In fact, you can fit a human body in one of those.

Coworker:
How do you know that?

Scott: ... So I've got to be getting back to work.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Marvelstein Comics

[10:22:28 AM] Scott says: My brother wants to come up with a huge line of Jewish comic books. The only character I could think of: The Human Menora.

[10:24:47 AM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Jewfro's obvious.

[10:25:02 AM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Maybe The Dreidel.

[10:25:25 AM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: There could be a guy like Odd Job from Goldfinger, except he would throw yarmulkes.

[10:26:14 AM] Scott says: Solomon the Barbarian.

[10:27:20 AM] Scott says: Matza would be a good sidekick.

[10:29:39 AM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Gfilte Fish could be a villian's name.

[10:30:10 AM] Scott says:
Or Shiksa--the evil and beautiful temptress.

[10:30:26 AM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Ooh, that's good.

[10:32:30 AM] Scott says: How about a Hulk type character: The He-Brute?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Pyramidgate - The Fallout

Hanah: you made me start laughing in Sasha's class.

Scott: ... Take that, professor Volokh.

Hanah: did you really draw a picture of the pyramids?

Scott: I've got it right in front of me right now. Jay's got ninja swords, and he's being attacked by a dimetrodon.

Hanah: ... maybe you could fax it to Sasha

Scott: I hope he's not offended [by] the cartoon of him being mauled by tigers.
(He's the stick figure with the fro)

Hanah: ... you're a bit slow with the blogs this morning, aren't yoU?

Scott: Whoa, sorry, Speedy Gonzales, some of us don't have the luxury that you have, being able to get up at 5 in the morning. Some of us have to stay up late playing video games and sleep ten straight hours.

Hanah: poor thing

Scott: Pity me. Plus, I haven't been hugged in weeks.

Hanah: Jay will be back soon.

Scott: I know. I'm kind of hurt that he asked Erica to take care of his cats and not me.

Hanah: I'm sure he would have asked Erica to take care you if he'd thought about it.

Scott: HAHA. If I was in Sasha's class, you would have just made me laugh out loud.

Hanah: :)

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Also No Trees to Fly Between

[3:29:46 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: You want to hear something weird? There's a radio show we do at 8:30 PM DC time. The show is in Guam, where it's 10:30 in the morning, but it's tomorrow morning. If we did the show from here in Cairo, it would be 2:30 AM, the same day as it is in Guam.

[3:32:15 PM] Scott says: There's a Star Trek episode where they discuss a means of defeating the Borg. The idea is to implant them with this vision of a ridiculously advanced, curved shape, which was designed to overload their neural nets or something since it would take forever to fully understand its structure. What you just wrote probably would have done the trick just as easily.

[3:32:42 PM] Scott says: I'm going to have [to] draw some charts to figure this out.

[3:33:21 PM] Scott says: This is actually great, because Pyramids are one of the only things I can draw.

[3:40:36 PM] Scott says: ...I still don't understand the time zones. But the sunrise over Guam turned out really well in my diagram. Also, scale wise, you're about half the height of a pyramid.

[3:40:53 PM] Scott says: Point being, this is going to become my first cubicle decoration.

[3:41:36 PM] Scott says: Now whenever I get blue, I'll just turn to my right and be transported to the tropic skies of Guam.

[3:41:42 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Is your pyramid 3-D, or just a triangle?

[3:41:59 PM] Scott says: Oh, it's 3-D baby. It's like it's popping right out at me.

[3:42:42 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: You're going to poke your eye out!

[3:43:02 PM] Scott says: You're right. I'm going to draw some corks on the tops of those things.

[3:44:15 PM] Scott says: Not bad! Considering cork is one of the hardest things to draw.

[3:44:26 PM] Scott says: However, for the second pyramid, I cheated a bit and used imitation cork.

[3:44:45 PM] Scott says: Also, now you're a Ninja.

[3:44:50 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Awesome.

[3:44:56 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says: Though the black will be hot in the desert.

[3:45:43 PM] Scott says: And thus the two men, without even intending it, finally solved the age old problem: "Why are there no Ninjas in the desert?"

[3:47:53 PM] Jay Goodman Tamboli says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dreO0KSXJoM

Monday, November 05, 2007

Thought for Food

I put my lunch break off for a long time. I usually get hunger pangs around 10 or 11, but I just ignore them and they go away, like all bodily urges. I've been puzzling over why I do this, and I think the answer may be that I just like the anticipation of my daily Subway foot-long and extend that anticipation gratuitously.

I bet saving sex for marriage is really this same urge writ large. That's also why you put off reading this post for so long. But damn, it feels good to be reading it now, doesn't it? The point is--I'm like food and honeymoon sex. Anyway, I just absent-mindedly chewed up and swallowed a piece of paper and most of my right pinky (which I won't miss, it being the most socialist of all the fingers), so I'm taking my break.

To tide you over until your next helping of me, I enclose some quotations from correspondence between my former professor, John Cage specialist, spectacular pianist, and dear friend, Louis Goldstein and me:

Scott --> Louis:

But Manfred is a little baffling, formwise. Still, that fugue in the fourth movement kicks ass!


Louis --> Scott:

It took umpteen million hundred of listenings and then I got it, and still sometimes I don't. Then I some point I realized that I LOVED form in music... And Mahler kicks ass.


There is, of course, much more, but I have strived to keep this presentation positively Webernian! (Don't even pretend to understand that unless you have a music degree, like I do.)