Scott: When am I taking care of the kids?
Hanah: March 1-6
Can I chill in your place and play with them?
Hanah: they're excited
Scott: Any pills for Ethelwolf?
Hanah: no pills
Hanah: but it would be helpful if you could provide reassurance that I will still love them when the baby comes
Scott: Hmm. I might be able to communicate that with a skillful puppetshow. I'll give it a shot.
Hanah: mostly I just pet them and say "I'll still love you when the baby comes"
Scott: I can do that.
Hanah: then Maggie asks why it's taking so damn long
and Ethelwolf is all, "what's a baby?"
Scott: "Is it a type of food?"
Hanah: Ethelwolf will weigh more than the baby for the first 22 weeks or so.
according to this growth chart.
Scott: Ethelwolf's size already violates natural law and several of the more respectable rules of thermodynamics--so I'd be somewhat skeptical of predictions.
Hanah: yeah, I'm assuming Ethelwolf will remain constant while the baby grows.
plus, this chart is in kilograms, so I could be way off.
Scott: Ethelwolfis paribus
Kilogram is just a commie word for pound.
Hanah: they use them in England
Scott: And yet their money is pounds! How much sense does that make?
Hanah: well, if both were pounds, they'd get confused
Scott: Are you saying English people are stupid?
Hanah: I have to go watch tv before I puke.
Scott: I'll assume it's something I said. Enjoy!