Saturday, October 18, 2008

Scheules... Unsober

SCOTT: I never saw The Strangers.

RICH: Liv Tyler?

SCOTT: Yeah... that one.

RICH: Huh... that must be... the... uh... sequel... to that existential book.

SCOTT: The Stranger?

RICH: Right.

SCOTT: Wow. I did not think that was the reference that was coming.


Dude, I thought you were going to drop a Billy Joel reference. But no, my man goes straight for the Camus.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Gladiator Found

There must be a word for hardcore fans of Roman history. Romanophile? Latinophile? Regardless, I'm one of those.

They've discovered the tomb of Marcus Nonius Macrinus, who was the inspiration (along with Narcissus, Commodus' actual assassin) for the Maximus character in Gladiator.

And when Macrinus died his son erected this magnificent tomb for him between the River Tiber and the Via Flaminia, the road leading north-east across the Appenines to the modern seaside resort of Rimini which Macrinus must have taken many times on his way to confront the Quadi and the Marcommani.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Scheule Genius

SCOTT: So I usually spend two months between my haircuts, though I know I'm supposed to go once a month. But I finally found a reason to go monthly.

DAVID: What's that?

SCOTT: Incredibly hot hairdresser.

DAVID: Nice.

SCOTT: In fact, I've spent all day today trying to get my hair to grow so I can go back again soon.

DAVID: Makes sense.

SCOTT: Maybe I'll smear some Rogaine on my head. Ah! Or glue on a blue fright wig. 'Yeah, I don't know what happened, I just woke up and my hair had grown six inches and turned blue.' 'Huh--that seems to happen to you every week.' 'Well, you see, Vanessa, I live close to power lines, so...'

DAVID: I don't see how that could not work.


DAVID: One time I found this dead crow on the driveway, and I brought it to school. Then I just kept it in my locker for a while and waited until lunch--during lunch I slipped it into Billy's backpack, and positioned it so the head was hanging out.

SCOTT: That's ingenious.

DAVID: Yeah. He was walking out of class later and a girl behind him saw the head hanging out and started screaming.

SCOTT: I love that you saw a piece of roadkill and thought, 'What can I do with this?' For David Scheule, every corpse has a silver lining.

Monday, October 13, 2008


SCOTT: Right, but being O positive, the Red Cross has no intention of leaving me alone.

JOSHANA: I'm B positive.

SCOTT: A very optimistic blood type.