Thursday, April 29, 2010

Logic

COWORKER: (whispering) Psst! Come here!

ME:
What?

COWORKER: You've been going to the gym lately?

ME: Damn right.

COWORKER: ... do you take your shirt off?

ME:
Hell yeah, I do. We got mirrors for a reason.

COWORKER: Well, you know, I don't mind, but uh, some of the women around here...

ME:
Oh, give me a break. What if we were at a pool?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Toes

Andrew: did you break my toe last night?
i woke up at 4 am with a broken toe, but couldn't find anyone to blame

Scott: I know I broke somebody's last night, but I can't remember whose. I suppose it might have been yours, but let's not rush to conclusions.

Andrew:
has that ever happened to you?
you just wake up with a broken bone?

Scott: Can't say that it has. Is this a a lie you're going to tell people to cover up the fact that Liss is abusing you?
If so, it needs work.

Andrew:
right
especially to explain these black eyes

Scott: Though now that you have a broken toe, probably a great time for us to play racquetball.

Andrew:
and we have just uncovered something that will be crucial to your conviction: motive.